The Xbox Game Plan
Scores
Hey, it's me, Phil Caneler. What up, bang? Today, I'm so excited to talk to you guys about all the games we're canceling here at Xbox. Resident Evil 2, Devil May Cry, Beautiful Joe, Okami, Bayonetta, Hideki Kamiya is a legend in the gaming industry, and that's why we were so excited here at Xbox to cancel the game he was making with us. When I saw that his game was Dragons, I didn't even like Dragons anymore. So, I said that this game is bound to be cancelled and then we cancelled it because I don't really feel like making this game. Bang. The next game I want to cancel is Star Wars 1313. That looks awesome. Wait, it cost how much money? I want to cancel this game 1,313 times. It's okay. Nobody likes Star Wars anyway or Xbox. Remember our 10-year plan for Halo Infinite where we would continue to add singleplayer content to the game and then we didn't add a single piece of single player content to the game? It's because I didn't really feel like making it. Bang. Do you guys remember when we did Overwatch 2, but it wasn't actually a sequel at all? It's because I didn't really feel like making a Overwatch 2, but I did feel like making the money for saying that it was Overwatch 2, even though it wasn't. Bang bang. Do you guys remember that one person who liked Starfield? That was just me and a different account, but I was lying. Bang, bang, bang. Hi-fi Rush received praise from gamers and critics alike. As a reward, we shut their studio down forever because I couldn't get past the robot in level two. You guys have been waiting forever to catch another glimpse at Rare's next game, Ever Wilds. And now you're going to be waiting forever and ever. Wild. Remember when Rare made Perfect Dark and it received perfect scores? That was before we bought them. The new Perfect Dark is our most ambitious game yet though. It is developed by our new studio, The Initiative, >> which we described as the first ever Quad A game studio. And we came up with that before Ubisoft. Their game Perfect Dark is like a perfect storm of everything we believe in at Xbox. And that is closing studios down and cancelling their games. Bang. How we feeling about this new Fable? You guys excited for this one? >> Wow. >> Fable. >> Well, maybe don't get too excited for this one. Oh, >> don't worry. We still have Gears of War Eday coming out. Although, maybe they should have titled it Gears of War Cay, if you know what I'm talking about. Now, I'm excited to announce a special partnership between Xbox Game Studios and one of the greatest creative minds and innovators in our industry. >> Thank you. Here, >> the hungry purple dinosaur. >> The hungry purple dinosaur. >> The hungry purple dinosaurs. >> Fable. >> Thank you, Kajjima. We're canceling that game the hardest of all.
Summary
The video is a satirical commentary on Xbox's game development decisions, mocking the cancellation of high-profile titles and the company's inconsistent approach to game development and studio management.
Key Points
- The video humorously lists several canceled or underdeveloped Xbox games, including Resident Evil 2, Star Wars 1313, and Ever Wilds.
- It mocks the decision to cancel games due to personal disinterest or lack of enthusiasm, such as not wanting to make a game or not liking a game's content.
- The speaker sarcastically praises games like Hi-Fi Rush before announcing their studio’s closure due to personal inability to progress.
- It references Xbox's long-term plans for Halo Infinite, noting the lack of single-player content added despite promises.
- The video critiques the rebranding of Overwatch 2 as a cash grab rather than a genuine sequel.
- It highlights the irony of Xbox acquiring Rare and then canceling their projects, including Perfect Dark.
- The announcement of a partnership with a fictional character, the hungry purple dinosaur, is a satirical jab at Xbox's creative direction.
- The tone is comedic and exaggerated, using absurdity to critique real industry practices.
Key Takeaways
- Satire can be an effective tool to critique corporate decisions in the gaming industry.
- Understanding the importance of transparency and commitment to game development plans helps build trust with fans.
- Recognizing the impact of leadership decisions on game quality and studio morale is crucial for long-term success.
- Humor and exaggeration can highlight real issues in game development and publishing.
- Fans value consistency and follow-through on promises, especially regarding game content and studio support.